Reflection Letters


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Provocation of the month:

“We have a tendency to exclude when we are in our fears.”

Meeting challenges


Our private and professional life is like a roller coaster ride and we need to understand that this is a part of life. We wish life to be wonderful all the time and at the same time this will never be a reality for any of us. We need to get better and better in meeting challenges in a life and business promoting way, but why is that so hard to accomplish?

Fears lead to solidified patterns of behavior

When life is smiling at us we just enjoy it. When challenges arise we react according to already build in established patterns. “This is not my fault.” “It is because of him/her or the society as a whole”. We react with frustration, depression, silence, withdrawal or working harder.

We realize that our patterns are not good for us in the long run and at the same time we do not know how to act differently. We get caught in our own Ego trap. Our fears may come to totally steer our lives. “Only if/when … will I be happy.” When we postpone our happiness until we reach our ambitions we will never become happy. We will only set new compensation ambitions and this will go on for as long as we live.

How can we break our patterns?

The key thought is to surrender. Surrender to our compensation ambitions and to our fears. Our life will always be a struggle if it is about compensation ambitions and fighting fears. Some of us live in a world of fears that are real and some of us create fears in our own minds. When we live in the world of real fears we need to protect ourselves and when we live in the world of fears that we have created ourselves we need to re-think. How do I know if I live in the “real fears life” or the “created fears life”? Most of us do not know the difference.


The fear of a hostile husband can be real for a woman. The fear of not being appreciated for the one I am, may, many times, not be real. My loved ones may even love me more if I surrender and meet them where they are at the same time as I am being true to myself. Fears are personal and real. We all need to respect that. The opposite of fear is love. What is love? Love is the unconditional acceptance of someone as a being, not based on their performance. Breaking patterns is about moving from a world of fears to a world of love. How can we do that when we are in our fears and compensation ambitions?

Being here and now

We spend some 80 years in this world and we need to make the best of these years and contribute in a good way to the next generation. We can do that when we are caring and loving, and we will be contra-productive when we live our lives in fear. So to all of us it is about surrendering. Surrendering to our fears and meeting our loveful side. What does that mean? It is about trust. Who can I trust? Can I trust myself? How much do we trust each other? To what extent is life a co-creative life and to what extent is life a competition? All of us can answer these questions. How are we programmed? We are programmed to create sub-groups and then it is easy to forget “all of us”. Darwin is still alive – the fittest will survive. It is time for a paradigm shift. We are all One and we will co-create a society that we all have a place in. Then we all need to spend more time being here and now.

Some questions to you and me:

1) To what extent do I live my life the way I really want?

2) What hinders me from living my life the way I want?

3) When there are hindrances, what will I do to break my patterns?

The best we can do is to include instead of exclude. That goes for global issues as well as for our everyday talk with our colleagues and friends. Challenging? Yes. Let’s try!