Provocation of the month:
"Nothing happens that is not the result of what we believe will happen."
Positive and negative self fulfilling prophesies
Three Swedish athletes believed in the possibility of winning an Olympic gold medal in The Olympic Games. We know today who won them. Trust in yourself at the critical moment is of utmost importance.
A CEO said:”I work with a style that I know will reduce my life span by 10 years, but my work demands it”. What will happen? And what happens in his surroundings? He seems to be quite conscious about his situation, but he is driving himself to continue on the same track.
A woman said the other day: “My husband is so jealous that he will not allow me to meet my female friends. He wants to control and own me.” What will happen? Due to his fears of losing her he has developed a need of control and he may be on his way toward a negative self fulfilling prophesy.
These self fulfilling prophesies can be individual or collective and they consume a lot of energy. We accept many myths: “Muslims are dangerous”, Fundamentalist Christians are dangerous”, “We will lose all our jobs to Asia”. We carry many self fulfilling prophesies within us and through them we participate in creating our new society and our own individual lives. There are, unfortunately, many negative self fulfilling prophesies in our society today and they lead to resignation as well as ruthless exploitation and short term thinking. The Ego trap is waiting for us around the corner.
It would be great if we could let go of our own fears and let the loveful side within us lead to positive self fulfilling prophesies. It is only our own lack of individual and collective consciousness and our fears that keep us away from our positive self fulfilling prophesy. We ourselves and everything and everyone around us will benefit when we let our loveful side permeate our lives and when all five aspects of ourselves are allowed to be present and alive. We have all experienced the sense of wellbeing that comes from being together with loveful and caring people. That goes from family members and neighbors to managers and colleagues at work – people that are present and caring.
We will experience the opposite when fears dominate. Then we become more and more self-centered. The result then may become self-pity or that we try to feather our own nest with power and generous bonus programs or retirement agreements. In the worst case we may give up totally. Independently of which road we take, we neglect and mistrust other people and we lose the awareness that we all depend on each other.
Life has prepared surprises for us
Sometimes we perceive that fortune smiles at us and sometimes we think that life is a struggle. Those perceptions are a part of life and we most likely need them both in order to develop. We may not want to deal with change and may perceive it as painful. We may not understand why this is happening to me or us right now. At the same time we may later perceive something as very positive even if when we experienced it, it was very painful; or what was once thought of as pleasurable is later recognized as taking us away from our true self. We never know this beforehand. We have to learn to live with uncertainty and trust that life is on our side in the long run. The feeling of losing one’s foothold for one reason or the other will not be there forever.
We can learn a lot about ourselves from our own reactions to what has been written so far in this reflection letter. There is no right or wrong in our reactions, but we can observe and reflect upon why they occur. This is where we can get in touch with our own fears and our own positive and negative self fulfilling prophesies. This will also make it possible for us to take a conscious stand to how we want our world to be. The way we react to the statements or experiences above will sooner or later lead to a negative or positive self fulfilling prophesy. We are responsible for our future lives and our future society, even if we cannot always see that. A person who says “I can't influence or change our society and our world” is a living example of a negative self fulfilling prophesy with its roots in fears, resignation and lack of sense of connectedness.
Some of us have the privilege of being leaders and we have a special responsibility. Others have given us power and we need to demonstrate that we take our full responsibility for the good of all people. We need to live our lives as Five Aspects people. When we do, it will spread as positive circles on the water. If not, our fears and our Ego traps will dominate and spread as negative circles on the water. It is human to end up in Ego traps, but we have to increase our own consciousness in how to get out of them. We have to learn how to get out of our Ego traps when they occur in everything from a short meeting to a more significant private or professional life issue. This is what all leadership training should have in focus.
Taking a stand
We all need to take a stand. Do I want to stand on the side of fears and compensation ambitions or do I have the courage to stand on the side of lovefulness, trust and connectedness? We do have our free choice. In the society of today we need to replace our fears, compensation ambitions and solidified behavior patterns with the courage of taking a stand for loveful relationships, a sense of belonging, a common sense of meaning, joy and financial success. This goes for all of us and we all have to contribute to a mind change, strengthening our self confidence, respect each other (and ourselves), the whole global society and our surrounding including nature and animals.