Reflection Letters


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Provocation of the month:

”I play better when I play with the best.”

My personal experience is that I perform better when I have “the best” around me. They challenge me and they show how it could be done in a better way than I am used to, personally and professionally. I inspire myself and focus in this environment and that leads to better results and better mood than my normal standard. “The best” have to do it, though, with an honest, including and respectful attitude and behavior in both my personal and professional life. That goes for my personal relationships with my loved ones and friends, and during my spare time activities with them such as golf, inline skating, skiing and hiking.

The same goes for my professional relationships in leadership and facilitation as well. I get inspired to “play with the best”. I grow when I see their leadership skills and when I see them acquiring and carrying out fantastic facilitation assignments. If I were a consultant I would most likely experience the same by “playing with the best” consultant. I can only relate fully, though, to the profession I have right now. If I change profession I will of course have to include new relationships.

Yes, we may agree: It is great to be surrounded with personal and professional relationships that are just “the best”. But at the same time we know that all our private and professional relationships are not inspiring us to perform better!? Why? We can learn from them too if we want. They may represent a disowned self within ourselves leading to our projections. That may also be a healthy way to protect ourselves. Anyway they give us an opportunity to reflect and learn.

I suggest that we reflect on this as my first reflection letter 2013. You will find all Reflection letters published during the last 10 years at Some of them are now also included in the certification program to become a facilitator in Lots®.

What is your experience? When and why do you perform at your best? I have been listening to our elite winter sports people over the years and there are patterns for success in line with the provocation of the month. For those of you that are into winter sports, where would Cologna, Nortug, Legkov and Hellner be without each other? These are elite athletes who compete against each other on a regular basis. They challenge each other to train and innovate to excel to become better to be able to succeed in the competition.

Who besides ourselves are creating the conditions for us to perform at our very best? Who is the best to “play” with? In my personal experience it is those that deliver on their promises. They promise, perform and achieve results. Many love to talk about how great they are and how much experience they have, but that does not necessarily mean that they are the best to “play” with even if we at times have come to believe in them. What do they deliver?

We can look for “the best” in all areas of life. Let’s look at some in our professional life. Look at these as a stimulus to find your own real life ”bests”.



  • Perform surgery with the best surgeon.
  • Run the hotel with the best General Manager.
  • Being in the teaching team with the best teacher.
  • Constructing/building new houses with the best carpenters.
  • Playing in the same band with the best musician.
  • Spending time with the best sales person leading to my fully booked calendar.
  • Being creative by spending time with the best in thinking new.
  • Becoming a professional by cleaning houses and apartments with the best.
  • Spending time with the best student helps me to perform at my best in school.
  • Improving on my facilitation skills by spending time with the best.
  • Being fully booked by spending time with the best in booking assignments.  


Let’s add our own examples to the list.

“The best” we are looking for are those who have a positive impact on making our world just a little bit better. We can of course make a list of “the best” in other areas, i.e. cheating others, projecting their shortcomings onto others, greed, manipulation and more. This is though not the purpose of this Reflection letter or what we want to promote. We believe in the importance of being together with and listening to other people that are good for us and others.

When we stop looking for “the best” we get old in our thinking and acting and limit our own business and personal potential. To stop looking for “the best” may also have its roots in our own attitude towards our professional career. We may not like and want to devote ourselves to the profession we have right now. That can also be a good pay off of our reflections. The other side of the question is why I, if I have the opportunity to work with the best, choose to work with less than the best? Is it a comfort to compare yourself to the middle of the roader or is it a fear that I cannot compare to the best?

Challenge yourself to see where and how you can move towards “the best”. You may not always get there, but your chances improve the higher you set your standards for comparison.

I appreciate a lot your responses to my Reflection letters. That helps me to increase my own consciousness. I have noticed over the years that you at times prefer a personal dialogue on sensitive issues. Feel free to contact me directly at

We are now thousands of people in more than 60 countries reflecting together. I hope that you find these continuing reflections a positive force for your own development.

Recommendations of the month

Watch this film on the impact of the space program. The payoff from the space program is not in finding life outside Earth. We came to understand that we did it in order to get an Outside-in perspective of ourselves. This is like “music to our ears” for us working with Lots®!!!

Key words or reflections you will hear in the film are: the over-view effect, outside-in view of ourselves, spaceship earth, oneness, living reality – evolution, cognitive shift, one species – one destiny, basic world view – who we are, sustainable future, working together towards common goals.

You are welcome to feed-back your personal reactions and reflections. Let me also know if I can publish your views on our web-site.!/watch/

I also recommend you, once again, to watch The empathic civilization by Jeremy Rifkin. What we have talked about in this reflection letter has got a name in this film. Mirror neurons. Just see it! Watch it again if you have already seen it.


With lovefulness